Altogether elsewhere, vast
Herds of reindeer move across
Miles and miles of golden moss,
Silently and very fast.

—W.H. Auden, “The Fall of Rome,” 1940

Then he thinks what would happen if one day he. But no.

—Roberto Bolaño, 2666, 2004

A dreaded sunny day
So let’s go where we’re wanted
And I meet you at the cemetry gates
Keats and Yeats are on your side
but you lose
‘Cause weird lover Wilde is on mine

—The Smiths, “Cemetery Gates,” 1986

Language is a cracked kettle on which we beat out tunes for dancing bears, when we would move the stars to pity.

—Gustave Flaubert, Madame Bovary, 1856

Ah, happiness courts the light, so we deem the world is gay; but misery hides aloof, so we deem that misery there is none.

—Herman Melville, “Bartleby the Scrivener,” 1853

I was the shadow of the waxwing slain
By the false azure in the windowpane

—Vladimir Nabokov, Pale Fire, 1962

What will happen when the secret corners of the forest are heavy with the scent of many men and the view of the ripe hills is blotted by talking wires? The end of living and the beginning of survival.

—Chief Seattle, 1852

A certain man … once lost a diamond cuff-link in the wide blue sea, and twenty years later, on the exact day, a Friday apparently, he was eating a large fish—but there was no diamond inside. That’s what I like about coincidence.

—Vladimir Nabokov, Laughter in the Dark, 1938

And now she knows something. I mean she really, really knows.

—David Foster Wallace, Brief Interviews with Hideous Men, 1999

Each of us is all the sums he has not counted: subtract us into nakedness and night again, and you shall see begin in Crete four thousand years ago the love that ended yesterday in Texas.

—Thomas Wolfe, Look Homeward, Angel, 1929

Why Am I Hearing the Typing Monkey?

Adventures in (Not) Publishing

No Soup for You
December 5, 2016

I can see Richard Wagner standing at the gates of heaven. “You have to let me in,” he says. “I wrote Parsifal. It has to do with the Grail, Christ, suffering, pity and healing. Right?” And they answer, “Well, we read it and it makes no sense.” SLAM.

Guru Guts Ghost
December 5, 2016

I’ve named this new blog after an actual thing a human in the universe once said to me. He’s a familiar player in the publishing industry. A guy from the South who’d hit the jackpot in the ’90s and ’00s with a string of nonfiction bestsellers, all of which you’ve heard of. “Jackpot” is not a fair word—his savvy, especially in marketing, led to those breakaways.


Newhem’s a ghost – writer – for… he can’t say, lest goons stalk & shiv you. With an MA (U. of Manchester, UK), he’s placed in competitions & written 100+ mass-market books, articles, stories, & essays for publications/publishers including HarperCollins; Crown; Perigee; Adams; Utne Reader; North Dakota Quarterly; Writer’s Digest; Story; MadHat Lit; Origins; Brain, Child; Genre; Really; White Ash; Gannett’s Journal News; & NewsCorp’s Times Herald-Record. Anthologized; twice Pushcart-nominated; NPR-produced; & selected Starcherone Books Prize finalist; featured on 200+ radio & TV shows. Newhem advocates for freelancers as contract adviser on the National Writers’ Union Service Organization board. He rescued orphan elephants in Kenya; winter-summited Kilimanjaro post-cancer; almost died skydiving; taught war reporting in Croatia; & he fights fires.

TV & Motion Pitchas

Ian Blake Newhem is co-founder with Izzy Ezagui of 15 Digits, LLC, a TV and Motion Picture Development company. 15D has partnered with Council Tree Productions on a TV series called IRL (In Real Life), a dystopian drama pitched as The Walking Dead meets The Leftovers with LGBTQ teens. 15D ghosts and develops TV and movie pitches, treatments, bibles, and scripts. For more information, contact: or

Council Tree Telecom Investor Stephen Hillard Forms Media Development Group with Producer Joel Eisenberg [via: Business Wire]